Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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