I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
