I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
