my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
third nipple confirmed
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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