Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
