around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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