i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
