Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
