I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
