yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize