Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
