I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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