worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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