all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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