we're blogging at a bar
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
