thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
