Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so let's talk penis.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
