thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
