I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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