It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
