i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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