you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
