i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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