therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
