um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He did a backflip because drugs
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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