bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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