I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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