I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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