I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
