I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
