the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
my liver is dry heaving
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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