I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
