when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
