Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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