i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
only you would photoshop your dick
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
All I want is dick and wine.
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