The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
