I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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