yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
