I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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