I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
