Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
