I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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