So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
