after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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