oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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