He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
