Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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