Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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