I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
