Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
