oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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