why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
