It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
