he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
As shirtless as possible
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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