he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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