I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
