so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We have started to decorate penises.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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