do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just had sex on a roof
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize