1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
