We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
