he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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