Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
In other news, I just burned my penis
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
