btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
