i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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