She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
