Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize