Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize
