So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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