pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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