Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
