When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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