yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
